Sunday, July 24, 2016

Atheist Scientists Thinks Pixie Dust Caused First Life

Puerto Rico -- Top island scientist found Pixie Dust to be cause of first life. The daunting, controversial and annoyingly unsuccessful search for the origin of life has led the top Puerto Rico professor, Dr. Aso Shane, to search harder. After a long and restless night and then a hard day in the lab searching for life’s origin, Shane turned on the TV for the news, but happened to be on the Disney channel that his kids were watching a little before. He saw it, Pixie Dust was being applied to Wendy as the channel was playing Peter Pan. Then inspiration struck, Pixie Dust has to be the cause of life.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Man felt like he was trapped in a woman's body, and then he was born

Armington -- Man being applauded for coming out with much courage after being trapped in a woman's body. Tony Kong reports that “years ago, I was trapped in a woman's body, than I was born.” An unnamed acquaintance reported that "we are all applauding him, you know, it takes real guts to tell the world what you really feel like. There is so much discrimination out there, we feel we need to lift Tony up as a hero. We think it's great that he is expressing himself as a man."

Friday, May 20, 2016

Man Excommunicated From Christianity Because He Used His Mind DC -- Man pronounce "not Spirit filled" and “without faith” because he thinks he has reasons for his beliefs. He has been excommunicated from Christianity by his pastor.

Friday, April 15, 2016

God Tells Preacher To Commit Suicide, Funeral Will Be In Two Days

Chicago, IL -- Preacher dies after God tells him to commit suicide. Detective John Edwards from the Chicago police department was called to the home of Reverend William H. Coffee, senior pastor of Crossroads Community Church. Coffee was found dead and police were called to investigate.

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Hockey Player Confuses Church for Hockey Fight

Chicago IL -- Amateur hockey player found dazed after learning fight did not break out in hockey game but rather a gospel song.

Big Jim, an amateur hockey player, was stunned when the hockey game fight did not turn out to be a hockey game but rather a church service.

“Man, dude, like, like, it’s this way man. I was have [sic] a good time fighting expecting to like, like start knocking around a puck with my like, like, like dude hockey stick, when everyone started singing. I was like ‘dude what’s going on here’?” was Big Jim’s account of what previously transpired. He went on to say “you know what I mean dude, it was even more confusing when the sermon started on like, like love. It was like this man, I was like totally confused. I must have been like, like went to the like, like wrong fight.”

Monday, February 15, 2016

Atheists Identifies As Christian, We Need to Celebrate that Says Professor

Miami FL -- A new form of religion has been identified. According to sources, an atheist man, Tony Wabble of Miami Florida, now identifies as a Christian. Religion professor John J. Willson of the Miami College of Religion and the Arts stated “This is a new phenomenon. While many of us think you can’t be atheist and Christian at the same time, for some reason it seems that you can identify with that. Hey, if one identifies as one, I guess we need to be tolerant of his views.”